


THE MIND ELECTRIC · ミラクルミュージカル

by pluvieux



Category: Original Work, dark surrealism - Fandom, esoteric - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pluvieux/pseuds/pluvieux
Summary: fly me to the moon, //send you my love on a wiredoctor, i can't tell if i'm not me ,,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bNITQR4Uso





	THE MIND ELECTRIC · ミラクルミュージカル

**Author's Note:**

> **GOD'S IN HIS HEAVEN AND ALL'S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD**

oh, our world after i have dearly departed   
fractured+out of order  
i wake in a sea of nothing. it is calm there, quiet. i could vaguely sense you, + i could vaguely sense *******, + the ******. your *******.   
in a blinding moment,   
you are filtered into my collective self. there is pain. i think maybe i'm dying, _soul death,_ but it lasts too long, for an eternity.

i open my eyes  
(then i realise i have eyes to open)  
i lift my gaze+notice i am not in the void anymore. it's desolate, freezing even. i feel that maybe i should be breathing.   
we meet.   
which disgusting sphere is it that we link hands through? which one could i be your lilith rather than the tragedy? i cannot shed your impact. your absence is the lance of longinus.

it is so dark outside, on your back porch. amongst the astrals of 222, you inhale the power surrounding you. a bat flies overhead, + there's a party on the other side of the canyon. something in the air causes a shiver down your back + gives you a glorious sense of _being._ i don't know why this memory in particular sticks out to me, but maybe it's because i'm so worried about how often you lose your surety of existence. 

a warm night. two isolated souls. a gentle embrace.

oh, it only hurts when i breathe,  
im dying over+ovr  
honestly i was looking up quotes + let me mention how in the first quarto hamlet’s response to horatio taking the poisoned cup is “upon my love i charge thee let it go”

an angel shifting into its true divine form  
les enfants doivent toujours se battre pour l'humanité  
decay, élever le sentiment de la violence muette jporte en moi  
you want me to love you, right?  
oh, macbeth could never touch me. not like that, no. 

récupération: l'illusion q jpeux être moi-même à nouveau.   
que cela me plaise ou non, c'une nouvelle vie.  
n'est-ce pas adorable?  
MONTAGNE, LOURDES SONT LES MONTAGNES,  
chu le navire  
raw + perfectly chaotic  
no one will ever perfectly know every nuance of (me)   
i am what you cannot justify  
strong pulse of insanity, + desperation with a seemingly nonchalant being   
you cannot fathom me discretely  
les versets en moi sont tampered with in a way that while what they're saying is clear, there's clearly something wrong.   
"AS DEATH MINUTE IN DECIMAL--"   
"MY BRAIN HAS CLAIMED ITS GLORY OVER ME"  
 **nuns commence incanting [axon – dendrite] as the lightning strikes mine temples thus  
electrifying mine chambers wholly scorching out thine sovereignty  
so spiraling down thy majesty  
i beg of thee have mercy on me**

to spare a life (a coil, or the soul? up 2 u)  
anyway existence is a curse + ideally i should have never been born  
but i was, + this poison has been injected into my system, there is no cure for what you have bestowed upon me  
oh patron saint of hopelessness   
can you push yourself a bit to fight for yourself?

listen ,,, it's hard to let go when you truly care ab someone. holding on out of hope that things will get better. you fight yourself, you feel stuck, etc. you stay because of the time+energy you invested but no amount of love can make the wrong person right for you. the solstice is soon approaching ykno, a rly good time for a new era, to turn everything around + seize your life. or: tonight. anytime. hasn't it been too long? your heart stuck in this space of incertitude, of pain + misery? hoping that things will change when it won't ,, find your peace of mind. all of that emotional torture, all of that stress, restlessness, bewilderment, literally losing your mind ,,; , ,,, you deserve so much more, something better. the only way to free yourself from heartbreak + distress is to move on. wake up tomorrow morning + shed away all of the pain the best you can. leave the carcass of yourself in the light of yesterday. tell yourself + believe that this is it. you are going to be okay.

HE, MONSTRES, VIENS. ET DEVOUR, MOI, TOUT  
aMbulEnt, obélisques en fusion, _échouez votre hantise, oh, vampire, jvs ai invité à l'intérieur_  
oh, divine lover, oh, tragic vengeance, reign your hellfire upon the everblooming gardens of my heart, of my mind,   
i will unearth the godliness within me, c'est ce que je dois prouver, jvais déterrer les anciens juste pour vous rendre insatisfait

oh, this painful silence. this restless ache that refuses to subside.  
why aren't you eating your dinner, chéri ?  
les aboiements, les chiens errants à l'extérieur. le cliquetis des couverts.

even without you telling me,  
i know so much already

divine beast, divine lover,  
i am bleeding from every orifice,   
"Ḓ̬̱͘͢ͅO̸͉̳̖͉̙ ͔͜N͓̮̦̱͝O̧͇̙̲̜͔T͇̯̮̦̖̖ ͙͇͇̖̝̹͜B̧҉͍͈̭̭̰̳͙ͅE̴̗̱̫ ̛̞͞ͅA̶̡͙̞̪̞̻̰̬̦F̛̗͙̗̲̦͕̟̙R̶͍͉̠̖͖̮A̦̠̮̜̺͟I͓̻͢͞Ḓ̹͇̮̬͈"

a lone figure has crossed my path  
W H A T I S G O O D C I N E M A   
I F N O T A S N U F F F I L M ?

A FEELING THAT DOESN'T CULTIVATE HEALING  
I AM OF THE SUFFERING  
shinji ikari, #tear the bitch apart!'

final bend of the road + i'm slamming my foot down onto the gas pedal  
cast a fireball at me  
strike down unto me, i have long since deserved it, understandable?  
oh, dig me out, i am decomposing. devour me, monsters, please, i beg of thee.   
oh i implore thee to kiss me as de vraies personnes font, comme des humains, même  
decapitate me   
kill me, make it a (murder)  
i want to be in a coffin + i want to fucking die + i want to be set on fire + i deserve to be a corpse  
oh, je n'ai jamais connu la faim comme ces bêtes qui se régalent de ma chair  
\+ then there are the seraphim, the most powerful angels because they’re the ones closest to god. most ppl think tht archangels r the highest order, but they’re actually the second least after ordinary angels; outranked by six higher orders, including --- principalities, powers, virtues, dominions, thrones, +++-

i am  
a humble beast.  
\+   
i will   
suplex god  
for his transgressions.

le sentiment d'impuissance dans votre poitrine quand vous pensez à la mort,  
binding ghosts to the service of a witch  
oh, kaworu, i understand you  
averting instrumentality + sacrificing myself in the process  
 _"i am a brittle, jagged edged thing i am untamed and bristling with teeth i live in a prison of my own making my voice is a thunderstorm my fingers are tipped with claws of iron and bone i am a god i am satan incarnate i love myself i hate myself whenever i cry i taste blood on my tongue,"_

can you feel this horrid calm?  
THE URGE TO RIP EVERY PAGE OUT OF THIS JOURNAL + CRUMBLE IT UP  
what was left? the prose, the literary equivalent of smiles in sweaters polaroids, 6am lovely solitude + the coursing electricity that is t r u e *****. am i talking to god at this point? my lord, ********, are you still listening, still looking at me? 

this asymmetry in my being, fuck, to be felt without feeling, a touch that destroys,   
but i guess if you can't feel the world you've created, it shouldn't matter whether you destroy it or not, you know, like, fuck it, it's 2018, long past due for instrumentality, right?

gomenasai,   
i may plunge my hands into the water, breakthrough the surface as i wish. unfeeling artificial life, you may destroy as you wish, but it will never be enough.   
gomenasai,  
reader,  
you understand, you just wish not to listen. 

the last being alive, i suppose they’re God, aren’t they? you can’t answer that. only - can. mayb tht’s what makes me God, + maybe that’s what it means to be a god.to be the end, not the beginning. to be everything, + then be nothing.

grandiose,   
i decided,  
were we.

you destroyed everything i had worked so hard on. i had poured every little bit of myself into those books. timestamps, careful, careful, careful.

only now do i realize you provided me with the ultimate opportunity to slide all of the weight off of my shoulders like a coat, drop everything, leave it all in the light of yesterday. i had one journal left. i've recently destroyed it as well, for the honour of the both of us. 

you, for my transgressions. a final piercing into me.   
me, for you, for the new era, my new becoming long prolonged, long ignorant. 

i didn't steal the bike, only borrowed it to later discard. it wasn't mine, sure, but it surely didn't belong to anyone else. i rode it to percy priest (because, let's be real, i never bike back up the swerving roads) + left it there, ripped every page out one by one, crumbling them up into balls + screaming, sobbing, choking as i chucked each one into the water. littering, yeah, but freeing. i wrapped some of the pages around rocks, whimpered as i read them,   
one last time

our lifelines crossed paths +   
should i ever encounter you by flesh  
i think i'll feel your presence, i think i'll know 

today has been the hours that i have come to the ire conclusion that i am binded, but not by chains.   
without you, i am still me  
\+ as i am as a being, i am still powerful,   
still acknowledged by the goetic. 

\+ as i am as a being  
undeniably  
a huge part has (become) because of ***.

**Author's Note:**

> *L/U/C/I/F/E/R.  
> *D/E/M/O/N/S.  
> *L/E/G/I/O/N/S.  
> *A/M/O/U/R.  
> *M/*/*/T/I/V/*/S.  
> *Y/O/U.
> 
>  
> 
> consciousness+unconsciousness are arbitrary distinctions.


End file.
